Final Exam 28/10

Sigh...another final exam coming...
This final just recalled my memory about what had happen before last final exam...
Time passed rapidly...It had been about 4 & a half months ago...



Arhh....i don have mood to study at all...
Can't even remember what i've read an hour ago...
Anyone help me out please... teach me the way to concentrate on my studies....
Sobsob... I don wish to retake these subjects...
I don wish to waste my dad's money...

Monash...
Sunway...
"I hate u"...
Since i've been here, bad things keep happened...
I just hate to be here
***childish***

& i hate to walk along this corridor....
The long boring monash parking->cafeteria corridor...



How i wish i can transfer or exchange to Aussie campus...
Start new life there?? Is it possible??
Or it might be another nightmare for being so far away from my parents??
I don wan their worries...
I scared my dad lonely...
A lot of stuffs have to be consider...
Sigh....

the song - Bye Bye

.=_..**~Bye Bye~**.._=.

This is for my peoples who just lost somebody
Your best friend, your baby, your man, or your lady
Put your hand way up high We will never say bye (no, no, no)
Mamas, daddies, sisters, brothers, friends and cousins
This is for my peoples who lost their grandmothers
Lift your head to the sky 'cause we will never say bye

As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
It's something more than saying "I miss you"
But when we talked too
All them grown folk things
Separation brings
You never let me know it
You never let it show because
You loved me and obviously
There's so much more left to say
If you were with me today face to face


[Chorus:]
I never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on like
"I wish I could talk to you for awhile"
"I wish I could find a way try not to cry"
As time goes by And soon as you reach a better place
Still I'll give the whole world to see your face
And I'm right here next to you
It feels like you gone too soon
The hardest thing to do is say bye bye
Bye bye.......


And you never got the chance to see how good I've done
And you never got to see me back at number one
I wish that you were here to celebrate together
I wish that we could spend the holidays together
I remember when you used to tuck me in at night
With the Teddy Bear you gave to me that I held so tight
I thought you were so strong
That you can make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact you're gone forever
...................................

< Keep changing>

"Do u know what's the most important thing to u??? Do u know how depress was it when the "most important thing" keep changing?? Become worst & worst........"








I found nobody really closed to me, really understand me anymore....family, friends, boyfriend....who else???
Even the person who sleep beside me, even we grew up together, as in now, we already don't understand each other....

These few days i stay at home...She kept hang out wif her friends...
We have had 3 times dinner in 7 days...Never sit together in the living room...
I knew there are many dissatisfactions and arguments between us...
What she did jus over my "acception" & so does her...
She angry on what i say & im angry on wat she did...& here's come the cold atmosphere between us...

I hope she'll know that everything changed...since the day he's gone...
She can still has her own freedom of cos, but not every day & night, somemore until late at night...Someone worried bout her, she just replied wif an annoying face...This disappointed him...vv much...do you understand?!!!!!

He cried many times...
Last time i wonder y i love to cry so much...& now i realize...
This is not vulnerable, i know how it feels...
I don wan to be the one who makes him cry...Im trying so hard...
Sis, i hope u too....please try yo best...don make them sad anymore...


It just seem like everything keep changing...
Relationship with so whoever....
From simple to the complicated one...
Omg...the gap between us really become bigger & bigger ady...Can't even find a suitable channel to talk to...

I so scare everything far from me...
I so scare when i scream "HELP" there is no one to lend me his/her helping hand...

Where is the happiness we used to have before???
I HATE MY LIFE NOW....